I was thinking about the past two years in England and I started to recount all of our last homes. On average, Van and I have moved every two years in 10 years of marriage. And not just addresses. I mean big, pack up the whole house and go moves. Which means sad goodbyes with new friends every two years. It means finding new ones in new places and settling into new routines. It's become the norm for us and I've been contemplating how it shapes a personality.
I think that I have become a little unattached to 'real' life lately. I always know there is an end to a location and I learn to distance myself just a little. Put a little space between my true emotions and life. But I forget that not every body else does this. I forget that normal people actually expect people to stay in their lives. You may have seen my Instagram post with my flowers but I was so caught off guard when my grocery delivery man sadly handed over flowers and wine as a goodbye to me on Wednesday. It made me realise that from the first time I had my groceries delivered, I immediately created that buffer in my emotional mind to protect myself from getting too attached. But my delivery driver didn't think to do so because his mind is not programmed to the 'two year' mind. I tried to hide my emotions but as soon as I said goodbye and shut the door I burst into tears. A thank you card is making it's way up to Waitrose today!
Over these past two years, I've learned a lot about life and myself. Each location, I feel as though I learn a lot about myself. I learn how to be more confident. I discover new talents. I find new ways to stay creative and exercise my brain. For this two year bit, I've learned that I am good at planning travels, I can manage a little web space and I am halfway good at being a housewife (definitely not my calling lol). But if I look back to the previous two years...I was in a whole other world. Working in crisis situations and living without travel. It's almost as though I reinvent myself every where I land. Is this healthy? But more importantly, is it even in my control? I'm thinking not.
So as I announced a few weeks ago, Atlanta is our next destination. And while this still holds true, it may be short lived as we yet again, contemplate another 2 year decision. Another round. But I am trying not to think about that just yet. I am trying to continue to live in the moment and soak up these last few days of this amazing two year experience.
It's a life that isn't for everyone but I have no regrets about it. I have a heart full of experiences, travel moments and laughter. I have learned to be tough but still remain kind hearted. I have days where I just want to cry and I long for a 'normal life'. And then there are the days, most days, where I smile and know in my heart that I wouldn't want it any other way.
What does two years mean to you? Would you be able to begin again every two years?
Our 'homes' in 10 years
#1 Kennesaw, GA
#2 Wichita Falls, TX
#3 Little Rock, AR
#4 Clovis, NM
#5 Ely, United Kingdom
#6 TBD :)